Yesterday morning I awoke early and instead of going back to bed and having a more extended sleep, I got up and busied myself with some tidying up activities, for example putting away the photographs which were atop Meg's coffin and which were then transported to the hotel's memorabilia table. The day today is generally allocated to shopping but I had a reasonable supply of things in stock and I am going away next Monday so I probably do not need to shop at all once I have assured myself that we have the bare essentials. My son called round and then our Spanish friend arrived because we had promised to take her to the railway station so that she can get to the airport midday and catch a flight back to Madrid. We both expressed to her our profound gratitude that not only had our friend dropped everything to be at Meg's deathbed and managed to be with her an hour and a half before her death but came over for the funeral. Afterwards my son and I paid a quick call to Morrisons so that I could use the ATM ad we both wished to buy a single item from within the store. Afterwards, my son dropped me off outside my Italian friend who I had arranged to see in the later part of the morning. She had texted me because she had to dash off at the start of the afternoon to look after her sister who was having an asthma attack and needed some care and support. To make matters a little worse, her own brother who was in his 90's had died very recently and the date of his funeral coincided with that of Meg's. I spent over an hour with my friend and we mainly talking about grieving strategies and the ways of coping with the loss of a loved one after over half a century of marriage (in both of our cases, as it happens) Then I walked home but the weather was a distinct change to the day before and had turned rather showery. I was faced with the task of cooking a dinner for myself when I did not feel particularly hungry but I took a ham and cheese pastry out of the freezer and microwaved this with some microwavable vegetables for speed. Having been up for so early, I did not feel very bright eyed or bushy tailed and had to force myself to some tidying up jobs. I then thought I would try to access the Teachers Pensions Agency as my application of continuation of pension, complete with death certificate and marriage certificate, has been lodged with them for practically three weeks without as much as a simple acknowledgement . But their systems were 'down' and I was asked to try them again in a hour's time when they hope they may get their IT system fixed (but personally I am not hopeful) As the sun has come out in the late afternoon, I am trying to 'train myself' to always get some fresh air and sunshine whilst I can, as the longest day is only nine days away. The next few days, not to mention the next three weeks, are going to a little difficult for me as I have to learn to manage without a car and the town centre suddenly appears to be a bit more distant for me.
I appreciate that now Meg's funeral is over, there will be quite a period of readjustment. Before she died, she was having carers call four times a day and so the house seemed quite busy and, of course, there was always a chat with the carers. Even after her death nearly five weeks ago, there was a lot to be done and to be organised and, even if the house was not busy with visitors as such, there were a lot of messages, emails and telephone calls to be dealt with. and so naturally I was kept busy with this and there were always the photographs to be sorted through and analysed, But now, of course it will be an intensely quiet period for me and so I am relieved that I booked the opportunity to go away and see my Yorkshire relatives for some more extended discussions and family time. So the next three days will be quiet but I am determined to go out and see people on each day between now and Monday when I go away. One stand out feature of yesterday was the role played by Martin's best friend who I have met on railway tips in the past. Martin's friend, on hearing of Meg's death, immediately said he come and attend the funeral to support Martin in his hour of need. We used him as an MC to help to marshal the guests whilst the immediate family were at the crematorium yesterday and he did a really magnificent job in performing the little admin tasks which we had asked him to do in our absence. In fact, he was more than happy to be engaged in such tasks. But as he and my son look quite alike and have both lost their hair, then more than distant relative who we have not seen my son for decades got the two of them mixed up with other so Martin's friend had to discreetly point out that the to the true objects of their expressions of sympathy. I am going to write him a fulsome email of thanks and appreciation later on in the day. To complete my tale of woe with the Teachers Pensions Agency their system was still 'down' when I phoned up as advised an hour later. This means that a huge backlog of unanswered queries will no doubt have built up with no increase of staff to deal with them so I fear that whatever delays and frustration caused by the delays can only grow and grow. In the late afternoon, I had a video call with my sister who I am going to see in a few days time and gave her a blow-by-blow account of bow things had gone yesterday and then I am going to slot into my evening routine which is to watch the 6.00pm news and then prepare a light tea for myself.
© Mike Hart [2025]